Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Zombie Appocalypse

 For a math methods class we had to use differential equations and numerical modeling to describe what might happen during a zombie apocalypse. I thought I'd share the back story we wrote. It describes the motivation behind the disaster we later model in the paper. Enjoy!
On a dark and stormy night, not too long after the midterm elections, an angry animator (a person who raises the dead for a living) paced through his living room. He was an active citizen of an island nation that was surprisingly similar to the current United States of America.  
The only difference was that there were ten individuals who were paid by the exorbitantly rich and the desperate to raise their loved ones from the dead as zombies. Some called them voodoo priests, others abominations. Yet, the money was good and the cause rewarding. Zombies could only be raised with a small blood sacrifice (like a chicken), an animator, a grave, and salt (to seal the dead back to the grave when done). Animators were required by law to keep zombies no longer than four hours above their graves. Sometimes zombies were raised to say their last “goodbyes” to loved ones. Occasionally, they would be raised by court order as a means to solving crimes.
But, back to our angry animator. He was a democrat of course, for everyone knows that only witches and voodoo priests are democrats. Delaware was proof enough of this. This country had similar results to the recent US midterm elections. The Republicans took control of everything. The hot issue of this election season was not abortion or taxes but the rights of the undead. Democrats felt that the undead, including zombies, should have civil rights granted to them. The Republicans sided with the religious right and said that it would go against God. Our animator was angry that his treasured zombies would not be granted rights now that the Republicans were in power.
He jumped into his car and drove to his favorite cemetery. Luckily he had an extra live chicken in his trunk. It would work perfectly for his plan. Once at the cemetery, he stood in the middle of the park and the rain and started his zombie raising ritual, killing the chicken and feeling for the dead that lay resting in their graves. Fueled by his anger, he raised the entire cemetery; a total of 50 zombies. Our animator, having control over those he just raised encouraged them to wander through the neighborhood. He believed that once the public saw how wonderful it was to have the undead hanging around, they would force the Republicans to concede civil rights to zombies. Hours passed and soon dawn was upon the town. Only the daylight had some unexpected effects. The animator’s control over the zombies was broken and the zombies became hungry. They went in search for human flesh to gnaw on.
The public became outraged and calculations were quickly done trying to figure out how to subdue the increasing results of zombies. Will the democrats get their way and have peace between humans and the undead? Will the republicans see their gruesome prophecies of death and decay fulfilled? Only Fox news knows for sure. 


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